Trophy Wife

Jill in Atomic Zoo: Episode 01 - Good Morning

Here’s our very own Jill Alexander as Mandy in the new webseries Atomic Zoo. Playing alongside Jill are our good friends Dave Holmes and Derek Miller.

New Year's Eve in the Bunker

It’s New Year’s Eve and, in an overabundance of caution, I’ve sequestered myself in Trophy Wife’s bunker. I don’t think there will be any civil unrest tonight, but you never know. They are, after all, adding a leap second to ‘08. And Microsoft Zunes are going all haywire because of the leap year.

Our bunker is an interesting story in itself. We wanted it to be underground, near the iO West theater, and have good parking. After an exhaustive search, we gave up on the parking requirement and signed a lease on a former sex dungeon. A few of the bunker’s features:

• A stockpile of 100 suggestions that could be used to start an improv show. We began secretly assembling these suggestions in 2007. This stockpile will enable us to put on shows even in some post-apocalyptic world where the audience is not allowed to speak.


• 30 copies of the book Truth In Comedy, translated into many different languages, including Esperanto and some comic book, story-board edition. Kevin assures us that version will be intelligible even in some post-apocalyptic world where no one knows how to read.


• A red phone that connects us directly to an improv group in Bejing. I just picked it up to test the line and, yes, the Hey, Fred Schneider warm-up has made it to China.


• A popcorn machine and a keg of Pabst Blue Ribbon. In some post-apocalyptic world where the iO West Theater has been closed down (or, in some pre-apocalyptic world where an SUV has crashed into the theater), the good times can continue in our bunker.

That’s all I can say without compromising the bunker’s security. Please, have a happy and safe New Year’s Eve. And come see us perform next Wednesday (1/7/2009) when we return from a two-week hiatus.

Special Holiday Roadents

I’m the voice of Pee Pee, the guinea pig on the left. Happy Holidays to all.

Tips for a Kountry Khristmas: Mind Games

Sometimes I go from a big city (Los Angeles) to a small town (Mooresville, IN) over the holidays. This seems like it’d be relaxing, but sometimes I get stressed out from inactivity. This is because Mooresville is “quieter” than Los Angeles, and I’ve gotten used to loudness.*

So this year I’ve decided to keep myself amused by playing a new little game every day.

Today’s game was called Answer My Sister When She Is Talking to Her Cat As Though She’d Been Talking to Me.

Sample conversation:

—————————
MY SISTER:
Come on, fatness! Get off my mattress!

ME:
Oops, sorry about that.

MY SISTER:
No, I’m not talking to you. I’m talking to the cat.

ME:
Oh.
————————

(Please note that I was nowhere near the mattress – in fact, I was in a different room)

Second conversation:

————————
MY SISTER:
Come on, fatty, it’s time to eat your dinner.

ME:
Yay! What am I having?

MY SISTER:
No. I am talking to the cat.

ME:
Oh.

————-

If you decide to play this game, and I highly recommend it, nonchalance is key.

• “loudness” = hobos, smog, desperation, partial nudity

Show: You Can Win! (12.18.08)

“I’m probably going to allow you to eat something with gold in it.” – Tim Jennings

GET WIFED IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN HOME

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I'm Mother Brain!

Once in a lifetime a boy gets to live his dream and provide the voice for an iconic character from his youth. Well today that boy is me and that character is Mother Brain from Metroid.

Show: Daschund (12.11.08)

“This is not the end of a musical where you turn my heart into warm places. . . or is it?” – Mike Coen

GET WIFED IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN HOME

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Show: Kalamazoo (12.04.08)

“Your dick looks like Florida.” -Jill Alexander

GET WIFED IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN HOME

Subscribe to the Trophy Wife podcast and never miss another show.

Get Wifed 365 Days a Year With The All-New 2009 Trophy Wife Calendar

You know how sometimes, to spice up a marriage, bored housewives will go and get a “Passion Portrait” taken, in which they pose “alluringly” on a leopard print throw in their least stretched-out underwear? And then they give it to their husband as a gift in the vain hope that it will lure him away from his internet porn addiction?

Well, we’ve done the same thing for you! Kind of.

Trophy Wife is starring in a brand spanking new 2009 calendar. The kind you can put on your wall! The kind you might leave open to the page of your favorite month until long after that month has ended and everyone around you feels really uncomfortable about it! YOU HAVE NEVER SEEN ITS EQUAL! Every Trophy Wife has been photographed, singly and in groups, in various stages of emotional and physical undress for your perusal and probable judgment.

By now we understand that you’re probably freaking out, and you’re all, WELL OKAY, HOW DO I GET MY HANDS ON THIS THING LIKE NOW. Calm down! We’ll tell you. It’s not even 2009 yet!

Please remember that these calendars make great gifts and everyone around you is sure to love you if you’re throwing these things around. It’s also helpful to have one in every room of the house just in case you forget what month it is and who you are. Okay, we can’t help you with the second part.

Check out the previews of each month:

January

February

March

April

May

June

July

August

September

October

November

December

Great Moments in Human Interaction: The Baby Shower

Baby Shower

Hey guys! I’m in this! It also features IOWest Artistic Director James Grace. Check it out, won’t you.