Trophy Wife

Our Favorite iO SUV Jokes

If laughter is the best medicine, then the iO West community is already on the mend. Late last week, we solicited your best “iO SUV” jokes in light of the SUV that slammed into the front of the theater. In order to sweeten the deal, we offered a free Trophy Wife t-shirt to the best of the bunch. Well, over 100 submission later, we’ve chosen our favorites.

Special mention goes to our very own Opus Moreschi. As a member of The Wife, Opus isn’t eligible for the free shirt, but the former Late Late Show writer did produce some of our favorite quips, including:

• And you thought the bar was full of bits before…
• Next week, UCB will do the same thing, and all the converse-wearing vampire-weekend-worshipping Los Feliz hipsters will assume they invented it.
• This was merely the first entry in the new Two-Drunk-Guys-And-A-Midsize-Vehicle tournament.
• Well, I’ve never heard of “Car Smashing Through Wall” either, but, they’re from Chicago and Charna loves them, so, they get a slot…

And the groaner

“That was a Del Close one!”

Honorable Mention goes to Moxie’s Graham Douglas for his entry:

I drove a car into iO and all I got was a lousy Trophy Wife t-shirt.

Graham’s bit of meta-humor has convinced us to make him a custom Trophy Wife shirt bearing his entry. So watch for Graham wearing that when the bar reopens.

And so here now are the TROPHY WIFE TOP 10 FAVORITE iO SUV JOKES:

• 10. Someone didn’t make a Harold Team. . . -Joy Allen
• 9. Damn, I paid the guy to hit Vice. . . -Rich Talarico
• 7. In Soviet Russia, improv theater crash into YOU! -Hollywood Phony
• 8. Can we have a suggestion of an automobile that will fit on this stage? -Zach Huddleston
• 6. That’s not bad…but if you REALLY want to see SUV’s crash into improv theaters, you have to go to Chicago. -Mike Hughes
• 5. You mean this isn’t what Miles means by ‘Deconstruction’? -Faryl Who?
• 4. When Trask goes big… -Dave Ball
• 3. I keep trying to run into you at IO West, you just never seem to be at the bar. -Hawkins
• 2. Looks like Joey’s out of rehab! -Rebecca Hotpants Stevens

And OUR #1 FAVORITE iO SUV JOKE:

I haven’t seen a gaping hole like that since Beer Shark left the lineup.

Congratulations to DHT’s Dustin Sterling for his winning entry. Dustin will receive a free Trophy Wife t-shirt in the size of his choice at the next DHT/Trophy Wife show.

Thanks to everyone who entered. Those of you hoping for a Trophy Wife shirt, don’t despair – we’ll have them for sale on the site soon.

And feel free to add more jokes to the original thread (since as we all know “comedy = tragedy + time”), but we now pronounce iO SUV jokes officially dead.